Tuesday, 16 February 2016

A Post-Op Post

Just a very quick update this week!

Firstly, thank you to all those who have sent lovely get-well soon messages - it was wonderful to get them, and I appreciate every one of them.

Secondly, the operation went well (or so it seems so far), and I'm now at home resting and recuperating.  My surgeon and the after-care team of nurses have stressed that I must take it easy, so it's a great chance to catch up on all those films and American TV series that I haven't had the time to watch.

I know I'll be bored stiff before long, though, and have already mapped out my gradual return to work and normal life.

Without being able to do a Picture Of The Week, I've instead taken the time to update my website, and thought I'd scan my archives for a sexy nurse photograph to link with the blog.  All I could find, unfortunately, was this one...

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Not my NHS nurse
It's from a couple of years ago when I attended a Hallowe'en party - all I can say is I'm glad I didn't see any nurses who looked as bloody as this, and the hospital was certainly cleaner.

Hopefully I'll be properly up on my feet in a week or two, and will keep the Blog updated accordingly.

Thank you again to everyone who sent me get-well wishes.

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

A Carnival Of Madness and Mattresses

This weekend was supposed to be one spent in preparation for my forth-coming hospital visit next week.  Objective 1 - I only realised on Friday that I need a suitable dressing gown and slippers for my overnight stay with the NHS.  Problem 1 was that my vintage 1940's silk dressing gown wouldn't quite be suitable for a night on the ward, nor would the other option of my original Japanese kimono - so a new one would have to be purchased that would cover the correct bits of my anatomy, unless I wanted the night in the hospital to be like the stage set of Carry On Nurse 2016 (adult version).  I also noted that I don't actually own suitable nightwear, nor slippers - high heels are possibly not the best post-operation footwear choice.

I prepared therefore for a boring day on Saturday shopping for things I don't want - which was just a a bit depressing.  Not only that, but shopping for things you don't actually want but need makes it take twice as long.  I was, however, perked up by a phone call from a friend offering tickets for the 'Carnival Of Madness' rock concert at the MEN that night, as his partner couldn't make it.  It was the final night of the long tour, and I was promised a great nights entertainment.  As the doors opened at 5.00pm for the concert, it was a bit of a rush then to finish my boring shopping, head home and get prepared for an early night at the arena.

It was pretty busy already when I got to the venue, and was kept waiting outside the venue for some time, passing time until my 'date' arrived, no doubt looking somewhat like a streetwalker touting for business in a new pre-gig sales push.

Eventually he arrived, ranting about traffic and soaking wet, which I was far too polite to ask if it was sweat or because of the torrential rain.  We found our seats in time for the opening band - a Brooklyn trio called Highly Suspect.  They got the evening off to a great start with some pretty straight-forward high tempo rock, and I made a mental note to keep a look-out for them again.

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Highly Suspect

 Next up were a band I really wanted to see - Halestorm, led by the very sexy Elizabeth 'Lzzy' Hale.  For a start, I'll just leave these here for you to peruse...

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Lzzy Hale, Halestorm

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Lzzy Hale, Halestorm

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Lzzy Hale, Halestorm

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Lzzy Hale, Halestorm

I've got quite a few Halestorm songs on my computer playlist, so it was a real thrill to hear the band rip through some of my favourites live.  They kicked off with the superb Apocalyptic, (opening lines "I wear my nine-inch heels when we go to bed, I paint the color of my lips blood red"... mmmm, my kinda girl - and the video is well worth watching!) and played a blinding set - easily the best of the night, and I was pleased to hear that Lzzy sounds as good live as on the studio recordings.  Sadly, my own photos weren't anywhere near as good as the above ones (I was just a bit further back in the audience than those lucky snappers), but still...

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Halestorm

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Halestorm

They didn't ease up until they left the stage - even when a table and chairs were brought on stage and headliners Black Stone Cherry did an impromptu signing session for some lucky fans!

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Halestorm... and a signing session

I was quite pleased to see the lady got nice and sweaty at the end - I'd certainly offer to buff her dry if the chance came.  I also came to the conclusion that Lzzy could warble up my canyon any time she wants.

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Halestorm

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Halestorm
Next up were Shinedown, from the sunshine state of Florida.  Quite what they thought of the monsoon conditions that Manchester presented them with I'll never know, but their polished set was a brilliantly tight alternative/hard rock mix, and vocalist Brent Smith certainly got the crowd moving and entertained.

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Shinedown

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Shinedown

The evening took it's first downturn when they played a short acoustic version of Don't Look Back In Anger by Oasis - even at one verse and one chorus it was precisely one verse and one chorus too many.  The Gallagher brothers - the worst advocates for Manchester since the IRA and their effort to remodel the city.

Anyway, it was finally time for the headliners Black Stone Cherry, all the way from Kentucky.

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Black Stone Cherry

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Black Stone Cherry

They started with a blasting version of 'Me And Mary Jane', (with some fabulous white-trash girls in that video!) but they really didn't go anywhere after that.  I'm not sure if it was due to poor sound or my own tiredness, but after about five or six songs I began to think it was time to head home.  Just at that point there was a bit of a stage invasion by members of Halestorm, Shinedown and Highly Suspect, leading to lots of swapping guitars, the drum seat and microphones.  Lzzy Hale arrived with the interlopers and belted out a terrific version of the Black Stone Cherry song 'Peace Is Free', whilst the rest of the stage-invaders help up "Pizzas Free" signs and chucked portions of pizza into the crowd.  It turned into a real 'End of Term' moment, and kept me in my seat for the remainder of the concert.

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Black Stone Cherry
Black Stone Cherry finished to a rousing roar from the crowd, and a suitable goodbye for all the bands at the end of this mammoth tour.  I said goodbye to my date and headed off into the (thankfully no longer raining) night.

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - Manchester Arena
I was accompanied on my journey home by thoughts of Lzzy Hale getting showered after her on-stage workouts, and mused on those thoughts a little more once I got in bed...

A bit of tossing in the night (ooooh er!) made me realise something else - my mattress was actually bloody uncomfortable, and although I'd put up with for a while it, like my dressing gowns, would certainly not do for my return from hospital.  That realisation unfortunately left me with little time to arrange a replacement, and a previous bed-buying experience left me with a nervous rash whenever 'furniture stores' are mentioned.  Nevertheless, knowing that I'd later regret not sorting it out, I made a phone call to a friend with a van to ask for help in purchasing a new mattress - Objective 2.

Therefore, I was up bright and early on Sunday to be collected in a less-than-glamorous Transit van and with ears still ringing a little from the previous night, to go mattress hunting.  First stop, a large furniture store in Trafford.

Buying a mattress is easy, right?  No, of course not.  There are a million different types, it appears, all varying slightly in firmness and quality.  I laid down, it felt, on a hundred different ones, some harder than granite, others softer than Lzzy Hale's lips... sorry, just thinking of something else there for a minute.  Anyway, I'm pretty sure I spent more time on my back in that store trying out the different mattresses on the beds than I do in a week at work.  No - too hard.  No, too soft.  Oooh, so close, but a bit soft.  Perfect - oh, it's only £1,949.00 in the sale - I'll carry on looking, thanks.  No, too hard.  No, that one nearly bounced me through the high ceiling.... and so on.

I asked a salesman for advice and regretted it almost straight away.  "Do you want pocket-sprung, gel inserts, foam layering... blah, blah blah..."  I felt really rude but his voice faded into the distance as I lay back on yet another bed, my thoughts drifting to girls in high heels and leather.  I think the poor chap gave up and slinked away - maybe it was when I started rubbing my thighs that he realised I was having 'a moment'.

I eventually found one in my price bracket that was as close as I would get.  I called the frightened salesman back over.  "Sorry," he said, "we don't have that in stock in the size you need - we can get it in maybe two weeks time, though."  Fuck.  Back to plonking my arse on different mattresses.

It was when my lovely van-man looked like he was going to start crying with frustration that I realised I'd spent over two hours laying on beds  I wasn't sure if the frustration was due to my inability to find a mattress or because all the time I'd been giving him flashes of my stockings and high-heels - I had just thrown my raincoat on over some lingerie and a nylon underskirt, after all.  Feeling that one more mattress try-out would lead to him joining me on it for a bout of bodily wrestling, either to get me off it or to get my coat off, I made the decision to try somewhere else - hopefully the cold February air would cool him down a little.

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort - not as much fun as I usually have on a mattress.
We tried another store over the road, and once again the routine of laying on mattresses ensued.  Once again, after, er, a little time, I found a perfect one in my price bracket.  We sat down with the salesman at his computer.  "I do apologise," he said, "but our stock records show we don't have that in just yet.  We can get one in probably late this week."  I thought about it - I could maybe manage for a day or two.  "Fabulous - can you deliver it, in that case?"  "Oh, er, no - delivery would take about a month, once the van is in your area."

My van-man was starting, rather alarmingly, to develop a bit of a twitch in his right eye, made worse by his erratic scratching and rubbing of his face.  "I'll do it," he suddenly shouted, loud enough for everyone in the shop to hear.  "I'll pick it up for you on Friday and drop it off at your apartment - can you just buy the fucking thing and we can go."

I bought the fucking thing and arranged it's arrival before the weekend.  "I'll pay you," I offered, knowing my van-man would need to take time off work, even though he's self-employed.  "No, don't worry about that," he replied, calming down, "you can owe me a favour."  "Does it involve the mattress you're delivering?" I asked, seeing how his mind was working.  "Well, someone's got to try it out to see if it's suitable for fucking you on," he answered.  At that point we realised the salesman was still sat there at his computer, desperately trying to hide under his desk.

Buying beds and mattresses - it's enough to make you want to lie down until the feeling passes.

Dexi Delite Manchester and Cheshire Escort