Sunday, 28 January 2018

Metal Pussies and Steel Panther

The 'Rock'n'Roll Winter' theme continued this week at Manchester's Apollo venue.  Although I don't have a 'normal' 9-to-5 job, it's still a bit hard to get enthused about mid-week gigs.  Nevertheless, at 6.15pm Wednesday I was queuing up with a somewhat mixed bunch of music fans for a night of entertainment courtesy of the one and only Steel Panther.

Although not freezing cold, it was nevertheless chilly enough to keep my little dresses in the wardrobe and slip into my skin-tight shiny leggings and high heeled boots.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - shiny leggings and high heels.
Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Shiny leggings and high heels.
First up, though, were Wayward Sons, fronted by ex-Little Angels vocalist Toby Jepson (for those who remember 1990s rock bands).  As a fan of the trash rock/90s bands I saw Little Angels back 'in the day', and was looking forward to seeing how Mr Jepson was doing with his new band - especially as I'd missed them in November at Hard Rock Hell.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Wayward Sons.
I can report that Wayward Sons were... OK.

Hmmm.  I hoped the next act up, Inglorious, (and another band I missed at HRH) would be a little better.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort -Inglorious.
 Thankfully, they were.  I especially loved 'Holy Water', a blues-rock masterpiece.  Inglorious could have played just that one song and still have been more interesting than Wayward Sons.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Inglorious.
Once Inglorious had left the stage to rousing applause, we waited in anticipation for the main act, Steel Panther - and the reason that it is a sold-out tour.  For those not in the know, Steel Panther are a brilliant parody of  late 1980s/1990s thrash metal.  Songs such as 'Asian Hooker', 'It Won't Suck Itself', 'Stripper Girl' give a good representation of the tongue-in-cheek lyrics - probably not appropriate weeding songs.  They hit the stage in a blast of bright lights and the thundering music of 'Eyes Of A Panther'.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
Part of the show is lots of comedic macho piss-taking, which began as soon as the chords of the first song were still echoing off the walls.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
 The comedy wouldn't work so well if the band couln't play, but the songs and musicmanship remain top-notch, even piledriving through tracks like Asian Hooker (Smells like sushi...), Wasted Too Much Time (Wasted too much time fucking you! I wasted too much money buying shit for you, too!) and Poontang Boomerang (Met a girl on Tinder, about a year ago, Ass felt like a beanbag, stinky down below...)

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
Being Steel Panther, the crowd soon got involved in the show - starting with girls baring their breasts and flashing the band, which of course was whole-heartedly encouraged.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
Things take a step further when the band get a sexy lady out of the crowd and onto the stage to 'serenade' her... but this is Steel Panther, so the love song was 'Weenie Ride' (I'll take your ass for a weenie ride, Spread your cheeks and swallow your pride, It's scary like a rollercoaster, It will stretch you out so wide).

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
For the next song, '17 Girls In A Row' (I fucked 17 girls in a row last night and 10 of them gave me head, I had to tip the maid a hundred dollar bill to clean the wet spot off the bed, yes I did...) they hauled out a stage-full of ladies from the audience, much to the delight of the crowd.  I wish I'd been closer to the front - I'd have been on the stage with my tits out, given the chance!

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther and sexy girls.
Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther and red-hot blonde.
They finished the main set with a rousing 'Death To All But Metal' (Death to Britney Spears, kill the little slut, Kill Madonna too and then fuck her in the butt, Fuck Mariah Carey, death to Sheryl Crow
They can kiss each other on their camel toe, 50 Cent's a fag, so is Kanye West, Shooting hot sperm on each others' chest
...).

They came back for two encores, Commuity Property (I would give you the stars in the sky
But they're too far away, If you were a hooker, you'd know I'd be happy to pay
...) and lastly Party All Day, Fuck All Night.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
They were utterly brilliant - and I can whole-heartedly recommend seeing them if you get the chance.  Just don't take your mother.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Shiny leggings and high heels for Steel Panther.
If you want to entertain yourselves with some Steel Panther classics from the safety of your home, just check out two examples...




Monday, 1 January 2018

Revolutions, Resolutions and Rebellions

Hmmm... so, some of the more eagle-eyed among you may have noticed that there hasn't been a new post since the 10th December, and I've also neglected my usual Christmassy attempt for the Picture Of The Week for my website.

There are two reasons.  Reason One - it's been the usual hectic Season Of Goodwill©, which was then partly ruined by an ongoing access issue with my internet provider - which was Reason Two.  The bits of Goodwill I had remaining for Christmas and the New Year were quickly worn out by having all my access denied to certain websites - mine and my Blog included - when my internet connection was even running, that is.  It was only after repeated attempts to resolve it with their lovely but rather inept overseas call centre and I finally asked them to cancel my account was it finally sorted. Thankfully, all appears to be OK now, so on with the (now belated) Best Wishes for 2018.

So, a recap first.  Since the 10th December and my visit to Marilyn Manson, I've been busy with fitting in family and friend visits inbetween spreading some Christmas joy by spreading my legs and having some very lovely gentlemen give me their own hot and hard Yuletide Logs.

Then, an announcement in late December made the Season Of Goodwill© even less palatable - Bonbon, one of my favourite shops and regular haunt, was to be closing it's door for the final time on the 30th December.  Many readers will know that the sensational little chocolate boutique has featured a few times over the years, so it felt genuinely like a personal loss to hear the news.  The reason - the site where the shop stands on tiny John Street (an appropriate name to me, of course - no wonder I felt at home there!) is being flattened and redeveloped.  Into another city centre apartment block... because what we need in the city centre, and especially the characterful Northern Quarter is more apartments, I think.

Wanting to take some flowers along as a gift for the lovely girls that run it, I checked out a few flower shops but the displays were all a bit sad and tired.  I decided to try Frog, just around the corner from Bonbon.  The owner was busy filling his van with wedding flowers (he was booked to provide the flowers for a New Years Eve wedding in London!).  I asked about a couple of small bouquets, but he replied that he only did corporate and wedding events.    I mentioned the girls from Bonbon and, bless him, he immediately stopped his work and put together two gorgeous bunches of flowers for me - he was perhaps almost as sad to see them go as I was.  So, flowers in hand, I made my way over to the heavenly haunt and had my last hot chocolate, tea, choccy cake and , er, chocolates - it sounds a lot, but I was there for the last three hours of the opening.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Bonbon, Manchester.
However, there has been some last minute good news - Bonbon will still be operating from a new venue just a few hundred yards away on Oldham Street.  I'm already looking forward to visiting again at the new home.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Bonbon, Manchester
 Christmas Day itself was spent with friends getting shamefully drunk in a local bar (as my annual walk in the Lakes was rained off again for the 3rd year running), that must have wondered what hit it in the four hours it was open over lunch time.  My personal bar bill was over £100 - something of a record for just four hours of drinking.  My only excuse, your Honour, was that I bought a few rounds of drinks for the bar staff, too.  Still, the alcohol was a bit of a shock to my party-weary body and the receipts almost as much of a shock the following morning.  Oh well - it was Christmas.

Finally, onto New Years Eve.  This year it was rejoining friends for a long night at Manchester's Rebellion bar on Deansgate Locks.  Deansgate Locks, I have to say, is not my usual haunt, but the circus theme of the night, plus ten hours of rock/heavy metal and 1980's 'classics' with a friendly and alternative crowd was enough to lure me to the area.

I chose my red corset, some fishnet tights, frilly panties (crotchless, so some very skimpy g-string thongs underneath to keep my modesty in place and my new Natacha Marro boots.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - New Years Eve Rebellion, Manchester.
Thankfully, the heavy rain had eased by the time we got to the club and joined the short queue.  Once inside, there were hook-a-duck and shooting stalls and a horse racing game.  I tried my hand at hooking first, being something of a, well, hooker.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - hooking, of course.
I can happily report that my hooking was successful, and I returned to my table with a new Hawaiian garland.  Next, after another drink, shooting.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - shooting, unsuccessfully.
Sadly, this time my hand-eye coordination wasn't so good, and despite two attempts I failed.  I was especially disappointed as I really wanted to win the cheap over-sized sunglasses on offer as a prize.  I must have looked a bit dejected as a chap nearby, the proud winner of such a pair of stylish eye-wear, gave me his instead.

Lastly, the horse riding game, which involved rapidly 'riding' a plastic toy horse and the quicker you 'rode' it the faster it went.  Surprisingly, it seemed like I was good at riding and using my hands, too, as I won that one.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - riding.
 Riding and hooking - I'll stick to these in future.

The night was improved dramatically a little later on.  I had been doing a lap-dance for some of the friends in the group, when a voluptuous girl on a nearby sofa caught my eye.  Long red hair, gorgeous lips and all tits and arse, she was stunning in her short and loose dress.  I walked over to her and began to give her a lap dance - which she clearly loved.  I could feel her hands all over my body, touching me in places that would have got her kicked out of lap-dancing clubs when I was a dancer!

I straddled M as she sat on the sofa, brushing my breasts across her face before lowering my face to hers.  She quickly leaned forward and began kissing me, and I felt her hot tongue in my mouth.  Now, I've had a few similar experiences at fetish clubs, but not a vanilla rock club.  Nevertheless, I kissed the gorgeous girl back, and pretty soon we were fully engaged in some very heavy petting.  I felt her hand snaking up between my thighs, and very quickly they slipped inside my panties, sliding gently over my moist pussy lips.  We pretty much remained entangled for the remainder of the night, either on the dance-floor, rubbing up against ach other and allowing our hands to stroke and caress, or on the sofa, with our fingers buried in each others damp panties, exploring the heat and warmth of our bodies.  At one point she straddled me as I sat on the sofa.  I ran my hands over M's thighs, gliding my fingers over the tops of her stockings and suspenders (my kind of girl!) before easing two fingers into her hot and soaking cunt.  In the midst of a crowded club I finger fucked her, her glorious juices oiling my fingers and running down over my hand.  I pulled my hand away, and delighted in tasting her heavenly nectar as I sucked her cum off my fingers.  At one point, with a couple of guys staring like they'd never seen two girls fucking before (ah, but we were in a normal nightclub, though - I forget sometimes!) I did wonder if we'd get thrown out, but no-one seemed to bother too much!

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort -  more fun and games at Rebellion, Manchester.
My fishnet tights did get completely ruined in the course of the night thanks to M's inquisitive fingers, but it was certainly worth it.

It was well past 3.30am when I decided it was time to head home - all my lipstick seemed to have transferred over to M and my hands smelling sweetly of her perfume and cunt juice.  A great night out and a great way to see in 2018 - I hope the rest of the year is as good.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Happy New Year!