Sunday, 28 January 2018

Metal Pussies and Steel Panther

The 'Rock'n'Roll Winter' theme continued this week at Manchester's Apollo venue.  Although I don't have a 'normal' 9-to-5 job, it's still a bit hard to get enthused about mid-week gigs.  Nevertheless, at 6.15pm Wednesday I was queuing up with a somewhat mixed bunch of music fans for a night of entertainment courtesy of the one and only Steel Panther.

Although not freezing cold, it was nevertheless chilly enough to keep my little dresses in the wardrobe and slip into my skin-tight shiny leggings and high heeled boots.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - shiny leggings and high heels.
Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Shiny leggings and high heels.
First up, though, were Wayward Sons, fronted by ex-Little Angels vocalist Toby Jepson (for those who remember 1990s rock bands).  As a fan of the trash rock/90s bands I saw Little Angels back 'in the day', and was looking forward to seeing how Mr Jepson was doing with his new band - especially as I'd missed them in November at Hard Rock Hell.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Wayward Sons.
I can report that Wayward Sons were... OK.

Hmmm.  I hoped the next act up, Inglorious, (and another band I missed at HRH) would be a little better.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort -Inglorious.
 Thankfully, they were.  I especially loved 'Holy Water', a blues-rock masterpiece.  Inglorious could have played just that one song and still have been more interesting than Wayward Sons.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Inglorious.
Once Inglorious had left the stage to rousing applause, we waited in anticipation for the main act, Steel Panther - and the reason that it is a sold-out tour.  For those not in the know, Steel Panther are a brilliant parody of  late 1980s/1990s thrash metal.  Songs such as 'Asian Hooker', 'It Won't Suck Itself', 'Stripper Girl' give a good representation of the tongue-in-cheek lyrics - probably not appropriate weeding songs.  They hit the stage in a blast of bright lights and the thundering music of 'Eyes Of A Panther'.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
Part of the show is lots of comedic macho piss-taking, which began as soon as the chords of the first song were still echoing off the walls.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
 The comedy wouldn't work so well if the band couln't play, but the songs and musicmanship remain top-notch, even piledriving through tracks like Asian Hooker (Smells like sushi...), Wasted Too Much Time (Wasted too much time fucking you! I wasted too much money buying shit for you, too!) and Poontang Boomerang (Met a girl on Tinder, about a year ago, Ass felt like a beanbag, stinky down below...)

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
Being Steel Panther, the crowd soon got involved in the show - starting with girls baring their breasts and flashing the band, which of course was whole-heartedly encouraged.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
Things take a step further when the band get a sexy lady out of the crowd and onto the stage to 'serenade' her... but this is Steel Panther, so the love song was 'Weenie Ride' (I'll take your ass for a weenie ride, Spread your cheeks and swallow your pride, It's scary like a rollercoaster, It will stretch you out so wide).

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
For the next song, '17 Girls In A Row' (I fucked 17 girls in a row last night and 10 of them gave me head, I had to tip the maid a hundred dollar bill to clean the wet spot off the bed, yes I did...) they hauled out a stage-full of ladies from the audience, much to the delight of the crowd.  I wish I'd been closer to the front - I'd have been on the stage with my tits out, given the chance!

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther and sexy girls.
Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther and red-hot blonde.
They finished the main set with a rousing 'Death To All But Metal' (Death to Britney Spears, kill the little slut, Kill Madonna too and then fuck her in the butt, Fuck Mariah Carey, death to Sheryl Crow
They can kiss each other on their camel toe, 50 Cent's a fag, so is Kanye West, Shooting hot sperm on each others' ches
t...).

They came back for two encores, Commuity Property (I would give you the stars in the sky
But they're too far away, If you were a hooker, you'd know I'd be happy to pay
...) and lastly Party All Day, Fuck All Night.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Steel Panther.
They were utterly brilliant - and I can whole-heartedly recommend seeing them if you get the chance.  Just don't take your mother.

Dexi Delite Altrincham and Manchester Escort - Shiny leggings and high heels for Steel Panther.
If you want to entertain yourselves with some Steel Panther classics from the safety of your home, just check out two examples...




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